Saturday, November 26, 2011

"NoFap", etc

So there's this thing going on Reddit about not fapping, but how does that work, you may ask? Try to not fap for as many days as possible. An online friend of mine recently told me about this, and I swear, it is the strangest feeling ever to try to not think of sexual situations, or things, in general. So I guess I'm trying it for the hell of it, because society has been brainwashing us into thinking that masturbating is good or something. It's not true, and it supposedly kills your self-confidence. I guess that makes sense, if you really think about it. So I guess I'm going to be trying this. But godddamn, let me fucking tell you . . . 

Every time you're going to be on an imageboard site? Porn ads!
Every time you're Googlin' and clickin' on a random page? Porn ads!
Every time you're currently watchan' porn? More porn ads!

Moral: Fuck you, internet! FUCK YOU!

So anyways, I'm still going to attempt this, I've passed "Day 1" so far, and today, I haven't thought about anything sexual regarding lolies, er.. girls, er.. women. FFFFFFFUUU-!!!! Also because of this "NoFap", there are things I regularly do that I can't anymore:

-Read eroge 
-Read doujinshi
-Watch anime (not a big killer, since I've been cutting back on anime in general)
-Oh, why don't I just cross off the entire fucking "media" as a list. SHIT, SON.

Monday, November 7, 2011


I was reading a thread on Reddit that a friend linked me recently. It was about ADHD, and of course, it's relevant to me because my entire life, I've always known that I had it. This Reddit thread reminded me that I need to somehow control my own problems, so that I can focus better. You might think to yourself "Why does that even matter?" You're just hyperactive and stuff.", right? 

Not necessarily. In this case, sometimes I'm too hyperactive, other times, it can lead to some depression and irritability problems. I've noticed that I get annoyed easily around people, regardless of whether they're close friends or not. I wouldn't really snap in front of them, of course. I just wouldn't want to be around them afterwards. Sometimes, I get depressive over minor things too. I never understood why.

My most obvious problems right now is that I have trouble focusing on tasks. This especially applies right now in college because I'll try sitting down at home, and I can't get anything done. I really do try. I'll turn off my laptop, and just sit there with a notebook, and can never seem to force myself into reading my own notes, regardless of how neat and detailed it may be. It gets worse when my parents comes towards me (at the worst time possible), seeing that I'm browsing the web, and just saying stuff like "Stop being lazy. Do your schoolwork", or whatever. It just irritates me, and I never want to say "You guys realize I have ADHD, right?".

My dad realized I've had it, because I was diagnosed with it when I was 8 years old. Problem is that he just think of it as an adolescent thing that involves hyperactivity. It's not just that. Once it hits you in the adult-stage of your life, you'll notice that you can't focus on a lot of things unless it's either rewarding for you somehow, or that you feel like you've received some sort of fulfillment.

I know with video games, I'll play fighters a lot because I strive to be better every time as I'm playing. Which is why I like fighting games a lot more than most, because I can always improve. That part is the reward factor, which is why I play fighting games often, though I've been playing less and less as of late.

Anyways, to get back on topic, nowadays, I supposedly have classes from noon - 10 PM on Tuesdays. However, since my one programming class has ended (half-semester course), I technically can leave my campus at 4:30 PM. But I choose to stay on campus until 9 or 10 PM at night because I won't be distracted by anyone. I'd just go to the library or something, and just do schoolwork (homework, studying, etc).

I can't do that at home because I have things that are always distracting me. One example would be my room, I have so many things there to distract me. Which is why I never study in my room.

I can't study downstairs because my parents and brother are always watching something, or being obnoxiously loud. Actually, I have a problem with noises. I can't concentrate if there are a lot of noise, which is why I listen to music (with headphones on) as I'm studying. Countering noise with noise that helps me to study. Does this make any sense? I hope I'm not rambling . . .

I've been taking a lot of Omega 3, 6 & 9 as of late too, because I've done extensive research to show that it does help me to focus better, the same can be said with other multi-vitamins. 

For more information on ADHD-PI, refer to here.

Besides all of the above, I really have nothing to report on, meh. I haven't really been reading a lot of eroge, but I have gotten at least an hour or two on "Hoshizora no Memoria -Wish Upon a Shooting Star-". I also still lack a controller, so I won't be able to play Touhou Hisoutensoku competitively for a while. But I guess that's a good thing, because I really need to focus on schoolwork anyways.

I have an exam tomorrow in my History class, so before that, I'm studying as much as I can today (and for the rest of the night). =/

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

M3-2011 Fall

Managed to get my hands of a few albums from this event. The one I looked forward to the most was ShibayanRecord's ムソウマテリアライズ album. I managed to get it just today, thanks to a poster from the Doujin Style forum. Anyways, I streamed it a little bit earlier today, but for those of you that wants the download, just go to here:

M3-28 (M3-11秋) Music Download Thread

It's really nice, because they sort it based by whether the doujin albums are either Touhou related, vocals, instrumentals, etc. I managed to get my hands on other albums too, of course, here are my list so far just from this specific event:

"Spilling Star" - Adresse
"片霧ミンの憂鬱" - CLOSED/UNDERGROUND (Katakiri Rekka's doujin group)
"Sugar" - シャノの気持ち
"ムソウマテリアライズ" - ShibayanRecords

I managed to get more albums, but they're still unsorted, so I'll try to sort those out soon. I should up some cover art for the albums too, eh?

That's all for now, thanks for reading, bros. Take it easy. 
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