Monday, June 20, 2011

Leave me alone.

I guess I've been kinda annoyed at people in general as of late. Could be a plethora of reasons, but I'm rather intoxicated as I'm typing this, so if there are inconsistencies or if my entry seems rather incoherent, I must apologize. 

Anyways, you guys all clearly know that I'm a hikikomori, though entirely different from being a recluse, mind you. I just don't feel the need for social interactions at times. I hate it when people assumes I'm not talking to them because I hate them or whatever. It's not even that. Sometimes, I just have tendencies to space out or be so absorbed in my activities that I pay no heed to my surroundings. While I should probably feel bad, I don't, really. I can't change myself at this point, and I like myself this way. I have that solitude that I can retract into when I feel annoyed by people, and it's very easy for me to do so. Though people assumes that I must hate them if I'm just not responding, which is not the case at all.

In fact, when I'm not at home, I'm usually at a cafe in my town, but I'm always on my laptop. I'm usually checking my Twitter to see feeds from other otaku, or to play MineCraft. So I'm very absorbed in my activities. In fact, I bet you 75% of the time, I am often listening to loud music via headphones, so I can't even hear anything. I am in my own little world. 

I love that world of mine though, I'm always comfortable there, and it's peaceful. Peaceful enough that I can be away from everybody else and just focus on myself, to do things that I want to do. Why can't normal people understand that? I don't see it as something that's so unusual or complex. Then again, I guess my views of people are rather eccentric. 

In fact, an online friend of mine told me that he thought I had a low tolerance for idiocy, because I've been having rather irrational temper tantrums as of late. I just look at normalfags and get angry. Or sometimes, certain actions just triggers my anger. I don't even know why. I can't explain it. I've just been rather angry as of recent, but being online and by myself makes me feel at ease. It keeps me satisfied. People will never understand that. 

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